Reminisce

I was watching an old family video, that was recorded back in 2004. It was the time, when we had our first raya together in Malaysia. Abah had bought the video from his home, and he had no clue, to what's inside the video.

Watching the video, has made me missed the old times. We were all so young, and it was those times, that we had the most fun. It was the time, where only me and my sister were the only 'anak dara' at my mum's side, and all the cousins were very young and very tiny. Sekarang all the tiny tiny cousins, have grown up to be young adults. 

As we went through the video (which was on pagi raya), I realised how precious those times were. It felt like it was only yesterday, that we all gathered  and berkecoh at my grandparents' house. The time, when my mum would fuss to gather everyone, and everyone would be everywhere getting dressed up, putting on make up and some would only just start to bathe. And it was the last time, where every single one of us, had gathered together in one place to spend raya. It was the final raya for one of us. 

Yes, I miss those times. I remembered as a young child, my grandparents would make us sleep early, and we cousins, would sleep together, and get excited about raya morning. 

I remember, my grandma, waking up everyone early in raya morning, and us cousins, having to fight over the one toilet at my grandparents'. Can you imagine, over 20 people in the house, and having to fight over one tiny bathroom in the house. So, my what aunties made us do, was all the girl cousins mandi sama sama, and the boy cousins would do the same, just to make the process faster. We would all be screaming over the one bathroom. And after we all salam-salam the elderlies, we cousins would gather and plan to walk around the kampung and collect our duit raya. I would go together with my cousins (from both sides), and my grandmas' neighbour. So, basically it would just be me, my sister, one of my brother, Pipi, Apis, Teha (my cousins), Su and Diana (the neighbours) go around the kampung to beraya. And we would do this for three days. Walking around for hours, from morning til evening collecting our duit raya. And at the end of the three days, we would all count our raya money, and compare who got the most. I really miss those times. If only we could turn back the time. Now, kids at this era, don't do that anymore. They would rather stay at home, lepak, watch t.v and play the i-pad or other tabs all day. The raya spirit has disappeared.

Back to the video, the scene, of where all the little ones played the mercun was quite fun. We are quite lucky I guess, cuz one of my uncle gets a stock of mercun every year. Where he gets it, and how, is a 'family' secret. So, every year we play the mercun, that my uncle has brought. And the neighbours would come along to play with us. And sometimes, we have a mercun war, and try to find out whose house has the loudest mercun. And this can go on til early morn. So the first few night of raya would always be a sleepless night.

As we watch the video, we came across, someone, who had passed away on the same year that the video was taken. It was one of his last moments here with us, and on this earth. It was my late 'paklong'. There's not much of him. But it was enough to see his face. Seeing him in that video, has made me missed him dearly.  Yes, he was garang, but he was also a loving and caring person. 

I remember the day he died. My mum ran upstairs screaming and crying to me. I first thought my dad yelled at her, since they had a fight that morning. But she told me my uncle had gone. I asked her where? She just kept crying, and kept repeating the word gone. It did not hit me, that the word gone had meant passed away. 

I remember arriving, at my grandparent's house, hearing people mengaji, and people crying. It didn't really hit me then. His body laid there peacefully, wrapped in white cloth and covered in kain batik. Everyone that night took turns guarding  him. And everyone, read surah yassin through out the night, whilst crying. Tears did not flow over my face.

To tell you the truth it was the first time, that I had experience this. Normally, when there's death in the family, I would just make doa' for them. I don't really visit them, because I'm not always in the country. 

Anyways, I remember the next morning,my grandma,  my cousins, aunties and uncles from dad's side came. And my relatives from far also came to ziarah. They all came in to help prepare for the funeral. It was the first time in my life that I was experiencing this. I just sat there and observed, and tried to calm my aunt (late uncle's widow) who was holding his shirt that he last wore and was crying. 

Then, my other pak long came (my dad's half brother) and called all the intermediate family to say the last farewell, before they bathe and pray for the jenazah. As everyone wished him their last good bye, my mum warned me not to cry and to make sure no tear fell on him. So I read my doa for him, touched his face for the last time, and said good bye, telling him that I'll meet him on the other side, InsyaAllah.  After that, only it hit me, that I wont be seeing him again. I ran downstairs to my grandma, and cried my heart out to her. 

That was my first funeral, and it was an experience I will never forget.

 From, reciting surah yasin, to biding farewell, watching and the burial. It's a scary experience. But it's an experience that we cannot run away from. Everyone must go through death. It was also a reminder to me, that the Al-Mighty can order the Angel of Death, Izrail, to take our soul anytime. It is also true to what they say, you die what you love doing. Arwah past away after trying to play the drums during a wedding. He fell, after trying to beat it once. 

Scary part was, when they try to put him in the car,to bring him to the clinic,  the door of his van was jammed. After what seemed hours, it finally opened, and his body suddenly became heavy for a while. And half way to the clinic, the van broke down. and somebody saw tears coming out of his eyes then. I guess it was really his time to go. I guess, his time on earth was over. We must accept it. 

After the funeral, we headed back to K.L, my mum cried. She couldn't believe she lost her brother. I also cried, but not in front of her. I cried in my room.

Sorry I got carried away. I just didn't really expect him to be in the video. And I really wanted to write it down, for my own sake.

And thank, to anyone who's reading this. Hope I didn't bore you. 

Jazakallah khair.