Farewell and Adieu

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

After 4 and and half years, I have finally decided to step out of my current job. No, this was not an impulse decision, I have prayed and I have thought about it, for many nights, I have finally decided to call it quits.

I began working at the age of 22 and half years. I started as a practicum student, and after a couple of months I was officially a staff.

Was I happy?
Yes.

My boss, trained me hard. Hari hari kena marah, kena maki, dan kena tepuk by her. Because I was slow. And hari hari I balik rumah, menangis. I cried everyday, because I couldn't stand the torture. But I took it positively and made it a learning process.

I've made really closed friends with some of them, whom I treat like they're my mum and my sister.

I've watched a child walked in as a baby and walked out as a confident six year old girl. I've taught her to talk, taught her to sing her first song, taught her to write and taught her to read. Basically I watched her grow.

Through out the years, I've tried to quit, but I failed. I guess Allah wanted to tell me that my rezeki is still at that place. Every year, I go running and crying to my boss to let me go, but she refuses to let me go.

This year has been the worst year. I was assigned as the Early childhood coordinator. Meaning I was in control for the 3years and 4 years group. It wasn't an easy task. I had to assure lessons were done smoothly, and prep was done on time. I also had to train people, I had to train them to be like me. Believe you me, I was a bidan terjun, never trained anyone before, and tiba tiba kena train orang. And worst part was I kena marah for their mistakes. On top of that, I had to entertain enquirers, do the 4years old curriculum, had to jaga the welfare of the staff, stayed back when people went missing in action, became a cleaner for a few months, buatkan susu untuk budak, tidur kan diaorang, mandi kan and teach a class of 22 super duper hyper and CERDIK 4years old. Penat. Gaji tak nak naikan. Contract and cofirmation letter after working there for more than 4yrs pun tak nak bagi kat I.
Staff baru semua dapat. Only I je tak dapat.
Why she refuse to give to me? Only God knows.
I only tahan working there, and did not quit half way through the year because, I was close with the kids. They needed me to be at the school. Only I could handle them, and settle them down. No one else could.

My assistant all like chips more. Kejap ada kejap tak ada. Every month ada new assistant. Budak all pening, I pun pening, so last last I told cik boss, that I want to handle the class alone. Walaupun penat.

Oh yeah, my 'team' consisted a group of young kids (they were 23yrs old) and they were very inexperience. Just like how I was more than 4 years ago. So cik boss kata, treat them like how I was treated when I was their age.
Result : They were sensitive, and cepat merajuk. Every time, they kena dengan I, they became chom. They made a chom face at me. They even mengadu kat facebook, looking for sympathy. Aiyoo. Luckily I wasn't like that, at their age. Yes, I made a chom face, but I didn't merajuk at my boss.

And they don't have sikap professionalism. They're always tardy. They're always on leave. They're always taking half day off. They're always sms-ing. And they make the children listen to lagu lagu jiwang.

And who gets in trouble for all this?
That's right. Me.

So I've made up my mind, and I've decided to leave. InsyaAllah, there are better opportunities out there for me. I know He has better plans for me. I just have to trust Him and  find it. InsyaAllah.