I remember while growing up, I thought my parents were the strictest parents ever. I remember back in Australia, my friends would always go out, and have sleep overs without me.
Why? Well, not because I wasn't invited, but because my dad was the strictest and firmest dad in the world.
His answer was always no, when ever I wanted to go for a social event. And if I went to a birthday party, I had to give my friends' number, address, parents' name, and reason why I'm going.
Camping out with the school, was a big no no!
But here's a little secret, I did do a few naughty stuff behind his back. What I did, is a secret between me and God. I was a teenager, and I was going through a phase, where I wanted to experiment a few things in life.
Was I happy about it? No!
I regret it.
But let me assure you, it has nothing to do with boys. Alhamdullilah, I grew up without having a boyfriend.
I remember going to school one hot summer day, wearing shorts and a t-shirt, my malay friend, teguh-ed me about my clothing. She said what I wore was haram. I kept quiet and walked off. More than 12 years later, I bumped into her, and her dressing is worse than my dressing back than. Sleeveless, tight pants and hugging a non-mahram....I was speechless.
I'm glad my mum taught me the consequence on holding non-mahrams. And I'm glad my parents disallowed boyfriends during my teen years and my college years.
I remember when we were staying at a particular relatives' house and didn't wake up til 8am, this particular person, would bising at us. She would bising about our weight and about our 'malas-ness'. Oh, and also about our clothing. She would always say that we were anak dara malas, and would call us gemuk.
But you know what Allah is great, he would always balas you if you talk bad about someone. 10 years after she kutuk'ed my us, her daughter is doing the same thing we did 10 years ago. And Alhamdullilah my mum is not the type that likes to ungkit. She knew that people looked down on us years ago, and she knows Allah will pay them back.
I remember when my brother went through a phase, where he grew long hair, and everyone kecoh-ed. My parents kept quiet and ignored the whispers and the stares. They told us ignore those who look down on us, Allah will pay them back. Years later I come back, I see some have long hairs just like my brother and worst, they have their ears pierced. Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! Don't they know that boys who pierce theirs will not be able to become wali. Sigh!
My mum once told me : "Macam mana pun nakal anak-anak mak. Mak bersyukur yang anak-anak mak takde la nakal macam anak orang lain. Mak bersyukur that non of you do drugs, non of you bring home boyfriends/girlfriends and ask them to sleep over. I'm also greatful that non of you steal, and that all of you jaga your sembahyang. "
She also told me, that ignore those who mock you, ignore those who talk behind your back, ignore those who creates fitnah. Just learn to ignore. Let them say what they want.
Because at the end of the day, only you and Allah knows the truth. That is the most important thing. Only Allah knows how hard it is to raise a child when you're far away from them. Allah will always be there for you, if you pray to Him, and never give up on Him.
You know what, I'm glad my parent raised me and made me who I am today. In me they have planted the importance of deen, good morals, and they have shaped each us to be good to the society (InsyaAllah).
