Reminisce

I was watching an old family video, that was recorded back in 2004. It was the time, when we had our first raya together in Malaysia. Abah had bought the video from his home, and he had no clue, to what's inside the video.

Watching the video, has made me missed the old times. We were all so young, and it was those times, that we had the most fun. It was the time, where only me and my sister were the only 'anak dara' at my mum's side, and all the cousins were very young and very tiny. Sekarang all the tiny tiny cousins, have grown up to be young adults. 

As we went through the video (which was on pagi raya), I realised how precious those times were. It felt like it was only yesterday, that we all gathered  and berkecoh at my grandparents' house. The time, when my mum would fuss to gather everyone, and everyone would be everywhere getting dressed up, putting on make up and some would only just start to bathe. And it was the last time, where every single one of us, had gathered together in one place to spend raya. It was the final raya for one of us. 

Yes, I miss those times. I remembered as a young child, my grandparents would make us sleep early, and we cousins, would sleep together, and get excited about raya morning. 

I remember, my grandma, waking up everyone early in raya morning, and us cousins, having to fight over the one toilet at my grandparents'. Can you imagine, over 20 people in the house, and having to fight over one tiny bathroom in the house. So, my what aunties made us do, was all the girl cousins mandi sama sama, and the boy cousins would do the same, just to make the process faster. We would all be screaming over the one bathroom. And after we all salam-salam the elderlies, we cousins would gather and plan to walk around the kampung and collect our duit raya. I would go together with my cousins (from both sides), and my grandmas' neighbour. So, basically it would just be me, my sister, one of my brother, Pipi, Apis, Teha (my cousins), Su and Diana (the neighbours) go around the kampung to beraya. And we would do this for three days. Walking around for hours, from morning til evening collecting our duit raya. And at the end of the three days, we would all count our raya money, and compare who got the most. I really miss those times. If only we could turn back the time. Now, kids at this era, don't do that anymore. They would rather stay at home, lepak, watch t.v and play the i-pad or other tabs all day. The raya spirit has disappeared.

Back to the video, the scene, of where all the little ones played the mercun was quite fun. We are quite lucky I guess, cuz one of my uncle gets a stock of mercun every year. Where he gets it, and how, is a 'family' secret. So, every year we play the mercun, that my uncle has brought. And the neighbours would come along to play with us. And sometimes, we have a mercun war, and try to find out whose house has the loudest mercun. And this can go on til early morn. So the first few night of raya would always be a sleepless night.

As we watch the video, we came across, someone, who had passed away on the same year that the video was taken. It was one of his last moments here with us, and on this earth. It was my late 'paklong'. There's not much of him. But it was enough to see his face. Seeing him in that video, has made me missed him dearly.  Yes, he was garang, but he was also a loving and caring person. 

I remember the day he died. My mum ran upstairs screaming and crying to me. I first thought my dad yelled at her, since they had a fight that morning. But she told me my uncle had gone. I asked her where? She just kept crying, and kept repeating the word gone. It did not hit me, that the word gone had meant passed away. 

I remember arriving, at my grandparent's house, hearing people mengaji, and people crying. It didn't really hit me then. His body laid there peacefully, wrapped in white cloth and covered in kain batik. Everyone that night took turns guarding  him. And everyone, read surah yassin through out the night, whilst crying. Tears did not flow over my face.

To tell you the truth it was the first time, that I had experience this. Normally, when there's death in the family, I would just make doa' for them. I don't really visit them, because I'm not always in the country. 

Anyways, I remember the next morning,my grandma,  my cousins, aunties and uncles from dad's side came. And my relatives from far also came to ziarah. They all came in to help prepare for the funeral. It was the first time in my life that I was experiencing this. I just sat there and observed, and tried to calm my aunt (late uncle's widow) who was holding his shirt that he last wore and was crying. 

Then, my other pak long came (my dad's half brother) and called all the intermediate family to say the last farewell, before they bathe and pray for the jenazah. As everyone wished him their last good bye, my mum warned me not to cry and to make sure no tear fell on him. So I read my doa for him, touched his face for the last time, and said good bye, telling him that I'll meet him on the other side, InsyaAllah.  After that, only it hit me, that I wont be seeing him again. I ran downstairs to my grandma, and cried my heart out to her. 

That was my first funeral, and it was an experience I will never forget.

 From, reciting surah yasin, to biding farewell, watching and the burial. It's a scary experience. But it's an experience that we cannot run away from. Everyone must go through death. It was also a reminder to me, that the Al-Mighty can order the Angel of Death, Izrail, to take our soul anytime. It is also true to what they say, you die what you love doing. Arwah past away after trying to play the drums during a wedding. He fell, after trying to beat it once. 

Scary part was, when they try to put him in the car,to bring him to the clinic,  the door of his van was jammed. After what seemed hours, it finally opened, and his body suddenly became heavy for a while. And half way to the clinic, the van broke down. and somebody saw tears coming out of his eyes then. I guess it was really his time to go. I guess, his time on earth was over. We must accept it. 

After the funeral, we headed back to K.L, my mum cried. She couldn't believe she lost her brother. I also cried, but not in front of her. I cried in my room.

Sorry I got carried away. I just didn't really expect him to be in the video. And I really wanted to write it down, for my own sake.

And thank, to anyone who's reading this. Hope I didn't bore you. 

Jazakallah khair. 

Day trip to the K.L bird park and BBW

So, it's the weekend my parents came down to K.L. And as usual, when they come down here, the first thing they attack is their tanah. My dad, needs to settle building his nest in Hulu Langat. It wont be long til he's retired. Basically he has no time to spend with us.

So, in order to keep the baby of the family entertained, we made him search for a place to visit. And tak sampai sejam, he decided he wanted to visit the bird park and planetarium. And kebetulan, my brother has his day off, so us lima beradik and Lini, decided to go out on a little adventure to the bird park. It was the first time, that the 6 of us, yes there's 6 now, got together and went out to have fun. Very rare occassion indeed.
It was a very fun day indeed. It was also the first time for most of us to visit that place. It was the third time for me. But going with the kids is different, we have to keep an eye on the kid, and can't really enjoy the view.

We spent 2 hours plus there. I'm not going to post pictures now, cuz of time constrain. I'll do it later. InsyaAllah.

The place was not that bad. The birds actually were free. Well most of them. They actually fly all over you. It's an out of this world experience. Entrance is quite expensive. But it is worth it. If you're lucky, you'll see the peacock doing it's own show. They'll actually open up their tail for you, so you'll see their beautiful tail feathers. Macam musim mengawan la. Hehe...it's really beautiful. We were lucky enough to see it.
Plus, you get to feed the parrots. Just pay RM2 for a tub of their food, put a little on your hand, and they'll come and feed from your hand. It's a beautiful experience. It's scary at first but, lama lama it will be okay.
We spent about half an hour feeding the birds.
After the bird park all 6 of us, went to the book fair (BBW aka big bad wolf). We waited for mak and abah at mines, but they didn't come, because my parents decided to meet up with their friends else where. So the 6 of us, had dinner and went book shopping at BBW. We spent a couple of hours there, which was actually not enough, we grabbed as much books as we can, and became quite satisfied with what we got. Planning to go there again with my parents next week. InsyaAllah.

Us 6.  :-)

Feeding the parrots at the birdpark. :-)

Miss him

I miss this little boy. This boy has so many nick names some of which are : Bambam, Debab and Yucop.  I gave him these nicknames. And it stuck to him for quite a while. Everyone called him that. Most popular nick name was Bambam.

Why we called him Bambam? Well, basically sebab he was a cute little bulat boy. He looks 3 plus, but he's really only 1 and a half years old. Those who meet him, will automatically think he's 3years old, when in fact he's only 1 plus.

Tapi, he's like the most cerdik, most smartest baby I've met so far. Dia ni drama king sikit. Petang petang, before I leave, I always ask the question "Siapa babab dia hari ni?"
He will automatically point out to my assistant. He likes to accuse her and point the finger at her. I don't know why. It's not as if, she really babab him.
And than I'll ask "Dia babab kat mana? Tunjuk teacher, dia babab kat mana?" And he will point where dia kena babab.

I so geram with him.

And another thing he doesn't call everyone teacher. Dia akan panggil sorang Mummy, sorang Ummi, sori Ibu, sorang Mak and sorang lagi Mama (which is me).
Yes he calls me Mama. And the name was stuck to me for a couple of months, until he figured out my real name. A couple of weeks before school ended, he began calling me "Mina" and "Nana". That stuck to him til school ended. He called the school cook "Bibik" behind her back. She never that. It was our little secret.

Dia belum pandai cakap sangat lagi, but he knows and can understand what is being taught to him.
He understands English really well, and of course Bahasa. So we always speak both languages to him. And sometimes words like "Nak drink", "Air", "Mama", "Adik", and "Bitut" would come out. But it would come out, once in a blue moon.

I  miss this little boy. I really do. I hope he's doing well. I wish him well. I can't see him anymore. All I can do now, is doa for him, pray to the Almighty to protect him, wish him the best and give him a bright future. InsyaAllah.

Yeay or Nay

As stated in my previous post, I've left my job. And as a result of my action, I got a terrible mail from an ex employer of mine. She demanded that I pay her 6 weeks in lieu of the 6 weeks notice that I failed to make, if not legal actions would take place. This was according to the Malaysian law la.

I got really upset at first. I researched, and researched, and asked my lawyer friends, and they said that this law apply to me, if I had a contract. Because the Malaysian law states that employees are "any person, irrespective of his occupation, who has entered into a contract of service with an employer under which such person's wages do not exceed RM1500 per month.". So obiviously I never did have any contract nor agreement (black and white) with her, so she can't do anything to me. Right?

So that felt a bit better. And thus, I went hunting for a new job. And it has been so long since, I hunted for one. I applied like crazy, and only managed to land a couple of interview, one was very nearby, and the other was practically the other side of KL.

The first, was I think clueless. She asked soalan yang merepek2 and I practically had to repeat myself twice. And plus she said she wasn't keen on taking Malays! Pfft! Racist! And oh, her offer was low, was like half of my current pay. *Sigh!*

And then, I went for another interview. Alhamdullilah, the interviewer was superb. And she was super duper friendly. Which I liked. The place was right behind my old work place. Last time I went was like 4 years ago. It definitely had brought memories back. I miss that place. I miss my ex boss. She was like the nicest lady ever. She was Thai, and she was a really good cook. I miss the kids there. *sigh*
Memories.
Anyways, the place was a Good Shepard school. It's a missionary school. I don't mind. Half their students are Muslims, and they have agama class. Working hours are wonderful, pay is awesome, cuti is double awesome (so I can balik Kampung to Johor and Thai often, hehehe). Which I love. They seem promising. So hopefully they take me in.

InsyaAllah.

Behind every cloud is a sun. I bersabar, and He showed me something better InsyaAllah.
Hopefully next year will be a good year. InsyaAllah.

A few minutes of perfection

Wouldn't it be awesome if it was like this here. Everyone would be happy, if we just help each other. The smallest thing can help change a situation. I can only just dream about this.

Bear and his love for shoes

My cat just loves shoes. Especially new shoes. He can just sit, and cuddle with shoes all day. He also loves bags. And clothes. Yes, my cat is a He, but his love are all the things that a cat who is a She should love, not a cat that is a He. I love my cat.

Great quote from a great leader

"If you want to be a leader, you must have ideas. If not, you're simply a follower." ~ Dr Mahatir bin Mohamad.

" Iman tidak akan betul sehingga percakapan betul- Kita harus jaga lidah, apa kita taip juga ibarat lidah." ~ Suhaib Webb

Rasulullah Menangis di Padang Mahsyar

I cried whilst watching this video. I'm ashamed of myself, for not being a good Muslimah as one should. I'm ashamed that most of us forget about the Seal of all prophets, Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) I'm just ashamed and am scared of what's to come. This video is a wake up video for me. Hope it's a wake up video for you as well.

Farewell and Adieu

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

After 4 and and half years, I have finally decided to step out of my current job. No, this was not an impulse decision, I have prayed and I have thought about it, for many nights, I have finally decided to call it quits.

I began working at the age of 22 and half years. I started as a practicum student, and after a couple of months I was officially a staff.

Was I happy?
Yes.

My boss, trained me hard. Hari hari kena marah, kena maki, dan kena tepuk by her. Because I was slow. And hari hari I balik rumah, menangis. I cried everyday, because I couldn't stand the torture. But I took it positively and made it a learning process.

I've made really closed friends with some of them, whom I treat like they're my mum and my sister.

I've watched a child walked in as a baby and walked out as a confident six year old girl. I've taught her to talk, taught her to sing her first song, taught her to write and taught her to read. Basically I watched her grow.

Through out the years, I've tried to quit, but I failed. I guess Allah wanted to tell me that my rezeki is still at that place. Every year, I go running and crying to my boss to let me go, but she refuses to let me go.

This year has been the worst year. I was assigned as the Early childhood coordinator. Meaning I was in control for the 3years and 4 years group. It wasn't an easy task. I had to assure lessons were done smoothly, and prep was done on time. I also had to train people, I had to train them to be like me. Believe you me, I was a bidan terjun, never trained anyone before, and tiba tiba kena train orang. And worst part was I kena marah for their mistakes. On top of that, I had to entertain enquirers, do the 4years old curriculum, had to jaga the welfare of the staff, stayed back when people went missing in action, became a cleaner for a few months, buatkan susu untuk budak, tidur kan diaorang, mandi kan and teach a class of 22 super duper hyper and CERDIK 4years old. Penat. Gaji tak nak naikan. Contract and cofirmation letter after working there for more than 4yrs pun tak nak bagi kat I.
Staff baru semua dapat. Only I je tak dapat.
Why she refuse to give to me? Only God knows.
I only tahan working there, and did not quit half way through the year because, I was close with the kids. They needed me to be at the school. Only I could handle them, and settle them down. No one else could.

My assistant all like chips more. Kejap ada kejap tak ada. Every month ada new assistant. Budak all pening, I pun pening, so last last I told cik boss, that I want to handle the class alone. Walaupun penat.

Oh yeah, my 'team' consisted a group of young kids (they were 23yrs old) and they were very inexperience. Just like how I was more than 4 years ago. So cik boss kata, treat them like how I was treated when I was their age.
Result : They were sensitive, and cepat merajuk. Every time, they kena dengan I, they became chom. They made a chom face at me. They even mengadu kat facebook, looking for sympathy. Aiyoo. Luckily I wasn't like that, at their age. Yes, I made a chom face, but I didn't merajuk at my boss.

And they don't have sikap professionalism. They're always tardy. They're always on leave. They're always taking half day off. They're always sms-ing. And they make the children listen to lagu lagu jiwang.

And who gets in trouble for all this?
That's right. Me.

So I've made up my mind, and I've decided to leave. InsyaAllah, there are better opportunities out there for me. I know He has better plans for me. I just have to trust Him and  find it. InsyaAllah.