Tuesday 29 November 2011

I wish I can directly tell him this:

'you...I miss you. I miss talking and chatting with you'.

But I can't. I aint got no guts.

I wish I can say:

'wow....you look so handsome in your pictures.'

(Even though you're dark, but I kinda find myself attracted to you)

But I can't say it. I don't have the guts.

I wish I can say:

'when can we meet up? I really want to see you and meet you.'

But I can't. I don't have the guts.

I wish I had the guts to tell him. But how to tell him? I think he's avoiding me. I think, I wish he's not.

I can only wish at this moment.

Lee Byung Hun ♥

I just got back from twitter land, and i found out the ever so hot and oh so sexy Mr Lee Byung Hun is trending world in tweet land. I felt like a teeny bopper screaming my heart out, when I saw my 'idol' trending. Ofcourse, I screamed in my heart. Oh Mr Lee Byung Hun, if only you had twitter. It'll be awesome.
Oh yea, speaking of twitter, I found out that the crown prince of johor, Tunku Ismail, is own twitter. Not sure if it's really him. I tweeted him, but he never replied. Huhuhu.....

Monday 28 November 2011

Johor...Southern Love

I'm proud to be a Johorean. My family is actually a 'rojak' family.

Mum's side is pure jawa. My late great grandma came directly from java. She has a pure jawa accent whenver she converses in bahasa to us. My grandparents call each other by their jawa names 'wak ngok'. And they always speak bahasa jawa early in the morning during breakfast. I call my granduncles and grand aunts 'tok wak'. I.e 'tok wak singerpore, tok wak skudai, tok wak kluang' and etc. Basically i call them 'tok wak' and whereever they're located. I don't even know their real name. My late great grand ma was called 'tok yot' or 'boyot' which literally means great grandma in jawa.

Now dad's side, my late grand dad is bugis, and my grand ma is of chinese heritage. I don't really know dad's family history because I'm not close to them, and dad never talks about it to us.

The great thing about going back to Johor, is that both my grand parents are next door neighbours. How my parents met, I'll never know. It's still a mystery to us. Hahaha....

Okay enough of my family.

Let's talk about the language of Johor.
Unlike other states in Malaysia, we johorean don't have a distinguish slang. We have certain words that other states don't use. I.e.

-Geboh: blanket
-Gerobok/robok: cupboard.

Our food:
Goreng pisang cicah with sambal kicap or condensed milk.
Goreng keledek, goreng sukun, goreng keladi is all eaten dengan sambal kicap.
Nasi briyani gam. Only true johoreans know how to cook this.
Laksa johor.
Kacang pool.
Sambal goreng. And many more.

Our unique dance and music:
The zapin and ghazal. Oh and kuda kepang also. Haha...

Our royal Sultan is: Tunku Sultan Ibrahim.
He was announced sultan after the late sultan passed away earlier last year.
One thing about the Johorean royal family is that, we Johorean have one hot sexy prince: Tunku Ismail.
Hahaha....forget about Prince Harry and Prince William. We have one hot prince here.

I read somewhere, 'you can go out of Johor, but you can never bring the johor out of you.'

Which is true. Am proud to be a johorean. :)

Sunday 27 November 2011

Hijab

I'm proud to say that I cover my hair. I used to cover my hair so my parents would not yell at me, but now I wear the hijab for the save of the Lord.


My Name is Munirah

I've always wanted to write a biography about myself. I'm going to write a little bit of my life here.

Okay...

My name is Aminah Munirah Binti Mohd Nasir. I'm not going to tell you my age. I'm quite sensitive about that.

I'm Malaysian, but I was raised overseas. My Abah works for the Kementerian Luar Negara. My Mak is a house maker. I'm thankful to Allah, that HE has blessed me with such wonderful parents, despite the tough childhood I had.

In my household, Abah, is a disciplinarian. He has taught me, what it's like to be "orang susah". Even though I grew all over the world, Abah has never pampered me and never gave me what I wanted.
He never bought me all the branded stuff, shoes was only bought once a year, that was during raya. And school shoes, selagi tak koyak, than selagi tu la dia tak akan beli yang baru. Same goes for stationary and school bags and clothes. He wanted me to appreciate what I have. But back than I never understood til now.

So Abah thank you for teaching me the hardship of life.

Mak on the other hand, was a softer disciplinarian. She never sounded or looked 'garang', but she was. Only mellower. Before going to school, she always me do the dishes, and my bed and room was always neatly done.
There was always consequences if I had not done my chores. If I did not complete it, she would throw every thing on my bed, and sometimes she'd throw my things outside.

Socialising with friends outside school was a big no no. Abah never allowed me to go to school dances, camps, shopping with friends, go to birthday parties or sleep over friends house. He was very strict about that. Even if he allows, he'd get the contact number, address, parent's name, and the length of time I'd be out.

My parents taught me to be punctual on everything I do. If I was a minute late, abah would leave me. I got left behind a few times going to school, because I was late. I had to find my way to school by myself. And sometimes Abah would check on me at school.

And whenever we go visiting relatives and friends, my parents would make sure, I'd help in the kitchen, and do all the dishes after we eat and also clean up the table. If I refuse, mak would quietly cubit me kat peha.

Oh yea, my parents made sure, we were strong in our iman and deen. I remember in Australia, my parents would send us to sekolah mengaji every sunday kat masjid. And they made sure we never tinggal our solat. If we did, we'd get in big trouble.

Other than that, I was always taught to respect orang orang tua. Whenever I balik kampung to visit relatives, my mum always make sure, I salam dengan ikhlas to everyone. Especially to my AUNTS and GRANDPARENTS, be it belah Abah or belah Mak.

Mak always makes sure that I ni BERHORMAT DENGAN ORANG2 TUA even though I was raised kat bandar. I have never in my life disrepect the elderly.

You my dear Readers, I have a very big external family kat kampung. I love each and every single one of them. Well I love most of them anyways.

Let me introduce you to my BIG external family.
I'll start dengan belah mak first:
  1. Atuk Besar
  2. Atuk Jamil
  3. Arwah Pak long
  4. Pak Ngah
  5. Mak Anjang
  6. Pak Itam
  7. Pak Uteh
  8. Cik Ari
  9. Bikcu
  10. Cik Amat
  11. The cousins, my uncles' wives and my aunts' husbands.
Belah My Dad pulak:
  1. Arwah Atuk Awang (My deceased grandad whom I've never met. Heard he was strict).
  2. Atuk Ona
  3. Pak Long (My uncle from a different grandfather. Same grandma though).
  4. Mak Ngah
  5. Mak Mor
  6. Mak Ndak
  7. Cik Ain
  8. Cik Samah
  9. Ucu
  10. Cik Apoh
  11. The cousins, the cousins' kids, the cousins' spouses, my uncles' wives, my aunt's husbands
Big big family huh? Hahaha....
Just imagine during raya..very chaotic. Well that was during the old days. Now no more.

My point of writing this is that, I just want people out there to know, saya ni BUKAN orang yang SOMBONG.
Mak would slap me on the face if I was, and Abah would rotan me kalau aku ni orang yang sombong.

Yes I grew up overseas. Doesn't mean aku ni orang sombong. Yes, I did not grow up amongst my cousins, aunts and uncles, but I NEVER NEVER NEVER once looked down at them nor have I forgotten them, just because they are orang kampung. I don't judge people easily. I am proud of having relatives staying in kampung. My parents originated from kampung. I myself wish I had grown up in a kampung instead of the bandar.
I can also say that I'm proud that my cousins are successful, and most of them have wonderful careers and families.
And every raya, I make sure I visit most of them at their homes, especially my makngah and my mak anjang. Because from my understanding, mak ngah is close to abah and she is a milk mother to one of my siblings. Just this year I didn't get a chance to visit her, because of time constraints. Sorry Mak Ngah, I didn't visit you. I still love you with all my hearts though. You will always be in my Doa. InsyaAllah.
And mak anjang is very close to mak. She's like my second mum. So you you see world, my parents have raised me well. Alhamdullilah.

Well let me point to you one thing. If you dare to kutuk and berfitnah about the people I love and care, especially about my Abah and my Mak through any medium, whether it's through your dirty mouth, your FB or your Blog, I WILL shut you out of my life. I don't care who you are, whether you are my saudara, my kawan or my colleague, if you dare to hurt my abah and my mak by FITNAH, I will forever shut you out of life.

Oh yea, aku memang menyampah kalau orang talk about me and my family, when they don't even know the facts. So pleasela get your fakta right before you talk about us behind our backs. If you don't know the facts you either shut up or you ask. If you're a true Muslim, you know that Fitnah=Murder. Right.
If you are alim, warak, or religious, or you just keep talking about Allah (SWT) and you fitnah you are a hypocrite...a munafik. And I just don't like low minded people.


I'm by nature orang yang keras hati and kepala batu (bak kata mak). If I despise that person, I will shut them out of my life forever. That's why I don't have alot of friends, because of the hurts that they've caused to me.


I don't forgive nor do I forget my enemies. Sedangkan the Nabi (S.A.W) boleh forgive his enemies. Why can't I ek?
Maybe a alot of shaitan in me kot.

To end this rantings, I'm going to say that People should stop judging people. Only Allah has the rights to judge people.
People should just stop backbiting and berfitnah about people. If you are a Muslim than you should always keep this hadith in your head:

Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet said: "Do you know what Backbiting is?" They said "Allah and His Messenger knows best" He than said "It is to say something about your brother that he would dislike." Someone asked Him, "But what if I say what is true?" The Messenger of Allah said, "If you said about him is true, you are backbiting him, but if it is not true, you have slandered him". (Muslim).

I'm sorry if I've hurt anyone. I didn't mean to. This is me. I've allowed you to get a bit to know the real me .Saya ni bukan orang yang sombong. I originally wanted to block this blog from the world, because I was initially emotionally hurt, not because I was takut that people read my blog. But than I thought about it, and have made up my mind to allow the world to read my crappy blog again.

As the saying goes:
"Sticks and stones may break a bone, but words don't mean a thing."

I have also decided to shut off a few people in my life. Useless low minded ones. Like I said earlier, if you hurt me or the people I love and care I'll hurt you back. Mentally that is. I'm a person that loves revenge. I know it's not good. But that's just me. No one can change me, except for the ONE above.




Sarang Iris


I've officially stopped watching "A 1000 days' promise". The drama's way to sappy for me.
Anywho's I've recently turned my attention to Iris.
Yes that's right people. It's an awesome k-drama. It's old. I know. But I love. I've downloaded the whole series, and I've watched the whole thing 3 times already. Yes I'm obsessed I know. Oh well. Hahaha...

Monday 7 November 2011

A Thousand Days' Promise

I've caught that fever again. My addict to korean drama is back. I shouldn't be watching it. No not this time of year. End of the year is always a stressful thing for me, assessing the kids, compiling their work, concerts, parent-teacher meet ups and whole lot of shit that is stressful.
SO in order to shake the stress off, and forget the load of shit that I have piled up at work, I decided to watch some of my ol' time fave korean drama. Oh yeah not to mention, I still have yet to make up my mind whether I should resign or not.
Any who's, as I was hunting for my favourite dramas, I came across this show, which is currently airing in Korea. It's called "A Thousand Promises". It's about a girl (Soo Ae), who's suffering from Alzheimer, and a guy (Kim Rae Won) who is deeply in love with her. There's a catch to this drama, the chick is the guy's affair. The guy is forced to marry his childhood friend whom he doesn't love. It's pretty sad, but at the same time it's pretty good. It's addictive. The drawback to this drama, is that it's slow, and there's a lot of flesh backs and emotional tantrums here. But all in all I love this drama. It's awesome. So far. I might change my mind to not watch it, if it gets too boring.



Kim Rae Won-Park Ji Hyng




Soo Ae-Lee Seo Yeon


Lee Sang Woo as Jang Jae Min


Jung Yoo Mi as Noh Hyung Ki



The Catalyst, Words I Never Said


[Skylar Grey]
It’s so loud Inside my head
With words that I should have said!
As I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words I never said
I can’t take back the words I never said

[Lupe Fiasco]
I really think the war on terror is a bunch of bullshit
Just a poor excuse for you to use up all your bullets
How much money does it take to really make a full clip
9/11 building 7 did they really pull it
Uhh, And a bunch of other cover ups
Your childs future was the first to go with budget cuts
If you think that hurts then, wait here comes the uppercut
The school was garbage in the first place, thats on the up and up
Keep you at the bottom but tease you with the uppercrust
You get it then they move you so you never keeping up enough
If you turn on TV all you see’s a bunch of “what the f-cks”
Dude is dating so and so blabbering bout such and such
And that aint Jersey Shore, homie thats the news
And these the same people that supposed to be telling us the truth
Limbaugh is a racist, Glenn Beck is a racist
Gaza strip was getting bombed, Obama didn’t say shit
Thats why I aint vote for him, next one either
I’ma part of the problem, my problem is I’m peaceful
And I believe in the people.

[Skylar Grey - Chorus]
It’s so loud inside my head
With words that I should have said!
As I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words I never said
I can’t take back the words I never said

[Lupe Fiasco - Verse 2]
Now you can say it aint our fault if we never heard it
But if we know better than we probably deserve it
Jihad is not a holy war, wheres that in the worship?
Murdering is not Islam!
Lupe Fiasco Words I Never Said lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/lupe-fiasco-words-i-never-said-lyrics.html

And you are not observant
And you are not a muslim
Israel don’t take my side cause look how far you’ve pushed them
Walk with me into the ghetto, this where all the Kush went
Complain about the liquor store but what you drinking liquor for?
Complain about the gloom but when’d you pick a broom up?
Just listening to Pac aint gone make it stop
A rebel in your thoughts, aint gon make it halt
If you don’t become an actor you’ll never be a factor
Pills with million side effects
Take em when the pains felt
Wash them down with Diet soda!
Killin off your brain cells
Crooked banks around the World
Would gladly give a loan today
So if you ever miss payment
They can take your home away!

[Skylar Grey - Chorus]
It’s so loud inside my head
With words that I should have said!
As I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words I never said, never said
I can’t take back the words I never said

[Lupe Fiasco - Verse 3]
I think that all the silence is worse than all the violence
Fear is such a weak emotion thats why I despise it
We scared of almost everything, afraid to even tell the truth
So scared of what you think of me, I’m scared of even telling you
Sometimes I’m like the only person I feel safe to tell it to
I’m locked inside a cell in me, I know that there’s a jail in you
Consider this your bailing out, so take a breath, inhale a few
My screams is finally getting free, my thoughts is finally yelling through

[Skylar Grey - Chorus]
It’s so loud Inside my head
With words that I should have said!
As I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words I never said





God bless us everyone
We're a broken people living under loaded gun
And it can't be outfought
It can't be outdone
It can't be outmatched
It can't be outrun
[x3]

No
And when I close my eyes tonight
To symphonies of blinding light

God bless us everyone
We're a broken people living under loaded gun

Like memories in cold decay
Transmissions echoing away
Far from the world of you and I
Where oceans bleed into the sky

[x2]
God save us everyone
Will we burn inside the fires of a thousand suns
For the sins of our hands
The sins of our tongues
The sins of our fathers
The sins of our young
No

And when I close my eyes tonight
To symphonies of blinding light

God save us everyone
Will we burn inside the fires of a thousand suns

Ooh

Like memories in cold decay
Transmissions echoing away
Far from the world of you and I
Where oceans bleed into the sky

Lift me up
Let me go
[x16]

God bless us everyone
We're a broken people living under loaded gun
And it can't be outfought
It can't be outdone
It can't be outmatched
It can't be outrun
No
God bless us everyone
We're a broken people living under loaded gun
And it can't be outfought
It can't be outdone
It can't be outmatched
It can't be outrun

Wednesday 2 November 2011

So Long, Fare The Well

Hello.
A few weeks ago, a relative of mine, was laid to rest to her final resting place.
She was my great aunt.
I called her tok Busu. My grandma calls her Busu Zizah.
You want to know what's sad?
I have a super big extended family, and not a single one of them called me or messaged about her death.
It's sad.
Yes I gotta admit, I'm not close with them, especially my dad's side.
I can never have a good conversation with them. This is because I was raised overseas and would only come back every few years.
But than there should not be any excuse to why they don't tell me when somebody passes away.
It breaks my heart when people don't tell me things especially about someone's death, and I gotta find out through the world wide web. Thank God for the world wide web. Without it I'll be lost. I found out about her death today.
Yes, I only balik kampung once in while, and yes, I don't go around house hopping, I only visit those whom I'm very close to. And ofcourse I visit both my lovely grandmothers when I go back to South.

Anyways, this is not the first case. A few months my late great grandma past away. We weren't told about it til a week later.
Just like the news about my late grand aunt, I broke down to tears minutes later and cry like a child. I'd tightly hug my pillow, burry my face, scream and cry, for the loss.
I was quite close to the two latters. I just don't get it why they don't tell us things.
K....I'm gonna stop, I'm crying like a child as I'm writing this. I can't see the words anymore, my tears are blocking my eyes....

Fitrah

I got lectured by my boss the other day.
Why?
Well because I refused to go to PTM (Persatuan Tadika Malaysia). She was furious about. Yes, I only have to do the last step, than I'm officially done with PTM.
Hallelujah! \(^_^)/
But, as I've mentioned in my previous posts (as if anyone reads 'em), I have a habit of procrastinating.
Yes, I like everyone else have a habit of procrastinating my work. And I've myself into trouble thousands of time because of procrastination.
In the words of my boss, who is also my mentor she always tells me "Break the habit". Whenever she tells me that this song comes playing in my little head:


Anyways, my boss asked me if I have problems entering churches.
I shook my head.

FYI, PTM holds their training session in churches,and temples. They hold it here, because these places have offered PTM for free. It just makes me wonder, why mosques can't do such offers. It would be nice to show the world that Muslim love to charity. It's part of our religion.

Ok, back to the story.

She than asks, if I have problem entering temples.
I shook my head again.

Than she asks what my problem was?
I told her I just can't be bothered attending those boring PTM training anymore. I hate them. They bore me. I always get bully to do presentations because I speak english.I hate it.

She shakes her head in dismay.

I smiled.

She than started to 'berkhutbah'.

She talked about Fitrah.

"You know what fitrah is Teacher Aminah?"

I shake my head.

"We're all born with a fitrah. Fitrah is part of our DNA. You get what I'm saying, teacher?"

I quickly shook my head.

She than continues.

"Fitrah tu cik Aminah is nature. Allah (SWT) has keyed in your DNA for you to complete your PTM. If you go what Allah has planned for you, than stresslah awak jawapanya. So another words, it is fate that you must complete your PTM, or else you'll be stress. Faham?"

I nod my head to tell you the truth, I didn't get it. So I went home and did a research on Fitrah.
Heres what I came up with:
The term fitrah basically means creation,causing a thing to exist for the first time, and the natural constitution with which a child is created in his mother's womb. One can refer to the Quran (30:29).

Therefore, my boss lecturing me about fitrah is basically wrong. She needs to read up again, or I must have misunderstand her.
God knows.
 
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